Someone you know

No one deserves to be abused. There are a number of things someone can do if they are experiencing violence and abuse from a partner but none of them are easy and they may not provide a complete or immediate end to the abuse.

Why don’t they leave?

There are all sorts of reasons why people stay in abusive situations. They may still love their partner and want the violence to end but not the relationship.

They may be terrified of the consequences of leaving - the abuser may have threatened to kill them or the children – and leaving a violent person is a dangerous time.

They may be worried about practical issues – housing, childcare, finances.

They may be so worn down by the abuse; they may lack the confidence to leave.

Leaving a violent relationship is a long and difficult process and usually involves returning more than once.

Your support can be crucial.

Some of the things you can do

  • listen without judging
  • help the person work out what they want to do
  • encourage them to seek help or call the Police
  • call the Police if you witness or hear assaults
  • support children with practical help
  • provide help with safety planning

If you want to read what women say about why they return to abusive men, download Why Women Go Back by Bravehearts, women from a Yorkshire refuge (PDF 3MB).

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